intentions and results

We dream as if things would be different. If things had been this way, I would have been different.

"Had I done MBBS and MD, came to US and became a pediatric surgeon, I would be making millions"

We dream as if those past counterfactuals give solace, as if the counter factual path goes the way we want it to be.

Whenever things dont pan out the way we want them to (in fact, they don't - and this is true), we think that, "had X, I would have been Y"; but this "had X" is also an intention, there is a hiatus between intending X and the wanted result that Y is. We forget this often times.

This is what people lament about, when they talk about their marriages. Soon after getting married, people realize that their marriage doesn't reflect some bollywood/tollywood movie. Then, they invoke the mantra: had I married my teenage love, I would have been leading 'happy' life.